Thursday, July 27, 2006
Mood
Okay, I'm in a mood. So much for posting nice, pretty pictures in order to try to regain some calmness in my own life. I want today to comment on thoughtlessness, on the forgetting that a human being is on the other side of the computer keyboard. On sending messages that say "may God give you peace" when what is really being implied is quite the opposite.
I have tried, over the years, to be a level and forgiving and supportive person, but there are times when such resolve has been deeply tested. Yesterday being a case in point, and yesterday being, in point of fact, the very last time I am prepared to put up with certain things. I had a friend, a woman I've considered a sister, and this woman, yesterday, sent me the very last e-mail I will ever read from her. She was searching for a shoulder to cry on, as she has gotten herself into a tremendously tight spot. I pointed out, as gently as I was able to, that she got herself into this mess, but that as always I would pray for her, support her. In return, I received an e-mail saying "thanks for blaming the victim" and a wish that God's peace would be upon me.
Well, pardon me for believing that when you willingly sign a mortgage in your name for well over $1,000,000 it's your own fault when it turns out you haven't the money to pay for it. I will not post further details, because I'm really not trying to be vindictive, but honestly...
I was also called judgmental.
This woman claims to be walking a path of peace, of love, of gentleness and nature and all things good and bright and holy. I have never failed to support her, not once. I have never failed to listen to her problems. I have been, in short, a very good friend. My last e-mail to her told her that if all she wants is platitudes and "oh poor you" then perhaps I am not the friend for her. I pointed out some home truths, and was taken to task for doing so. This is not a friendship. To realize that after seven years is a bitter, bitter blow to me.
Of course, I have my own problems, my own melodramas, as do we all. But I do not expect constant and unending hand-holding. I do not try to blame my adult mistakes on others. I do not treat friends as unpaid psychologists who have nothing better to do than tell me how it's all Daddy's fault, or Mommy's fault, or current-boyfriend's fault.
Sad ending to a good friendship. I mourn the loss, but I also have far better things to do with my time and my energies. Goodbye, God be with you, you know who you are though your name shall, from my end, remain absolutely anonymous. If you choose to respond to this post with your name, that's your choice. God bless you, and may He bring you peace, and I honestly mean that.
I have tried, over the years, to be a level and forgiving and supportive person, but there are times when such resolve has been deeply tested. Yesterday being a case in point, and yesterday being, in point of fact, the very last time I am prepared to put up with certain things. I had a friend, a woman I've considered a sister, and this woman, yesterday, sent me the very last e-mail I will ever read from her. She was searching for a shoulder to cry on, as she has gotten herself into a tremendously tight spot. I pointed out, as gently as I was able to, that she got herself into this mess, but that as always I would pray for her, support her. In return, I received an e-mail saying "thanks for blaming the victim" and a wish that God's peace would be upon me.
Well, pardon me for believing that when you willingly sign a mortgage in your name for well over $1,000,000 it's your own fault when it turns out you haven't the money to pay for it. I will not post further details, because I'm really not trying to be vindictive, but honestly...
I was also called judgmental.
This woman claims to be walking a path of peace, of love, of gentleness and nature and all things good and bright and holy. I have never failed to support her, not once. I have never failed to listen to her problems. I have been, in short, a very good friend. My last e-mail to her told her that if all she wants is platitudes and "oh poor you" then perhaps I am not the friend for her. I pointed out some home truths, and was taken to task for doing so. This is not a friendship. To realize that after seven years is a bitter, bitter blow to me.
Of course, I have my own problems, my own melodramas, as do we all. But I do not expect constant and unending hand-holding. I do not try to blame my adult mistakes on others. I do not treat friends as unpaid psychologists who have nothing better to do than tell me how it's all Daddy's fault, or Mommy's fault, or current-boyfriend's fault.
Sad ending to a good friendship. I mourn the loss, but I also have far better things to do with my time and my energies. Goodbye, God be with you, you know who you are though your name shall, from my end, remain absolutely anonymous. If you choose to respond to this post with your name, that's your choice. God bless you, and may He bring you peace, and I honestly mean that.
